To manage self-growth and life changes successfully, we need a balanced self-esteem

When something no longer serves us—whether it's a relationship, a job, a social circle, a habit, or even our personal goals and beliefs—we often sense that it's time for change. Sometimes we take that step ourselves; other times, life hands us changes we didn’t ask for and may not feel ready for.

Change is part of life. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy. It can feel challenging, unpredictable, and overwhelming. When problems arise, we often rush to find reasons, make plans, fix what’s broken—anything to restore a sense of stability. Some people can navigate these moments smoothly, while others may feel stuck or discouraged.

A balanced self-esteem is crucial in self-growth and navigating change.  Balanced self-esteem means having a realistic view of yourself—acknowledging both strengths and limitations without harsh self-judgment or inflated confidence. For those with unbalanced self-esteem—whether it's too low or overly inflated—coping with change can be particularly difficult. When we can’t put things in perspective, emotions tend to turn inward, often leading to anger, fear, self-doubt, frustration, or blame. Suddenly, it’s not just the external situation that feels hard—it’s the internal battle, too.

As a therapist, I often meet clients who are not only facing life challenges, but also carrying painful inner dialogues. These internal voices are often self-critical and harsh. In more difficult cases, they can lead to deeper emotional distress or even existential questions about self-worth and identity.

One common example where these emotional and cognitive challenges collide is during a divorce.  Divorce brings with it a long list of real-world challenges—legal issues, financial uncertainty, changes in routine and family dynamics. These alone can feel heavy. And even for someone with a healthy mindset, the emotional toll can make the experience feel overwhelming. If someone also struggles with low self-esteem—or has long identified strongly with the role of a spouse—the shift in identity to “divorcee” can shake their sense of self. Once negative inner dialogue starts to take over, it often leads to physical symptoms like pain, poor sleep, low appetite, or lack of motivation. Without the energy to tackle practical issues, everything begins to feel even more daunting—feeding the cycle of stress and anxiety.

That’s why gently untangling those negative inner thoughts becomes so important. While self-help resources often encourage self-care, compassion, and staying connected to loved ones (which are all helpful), lasting relief usually comes from learning how to quiet those critical inner voices and rebuild a more balanced sense of self. Without emotional wellbeing,  navigating change can feel slow and exhausting.

In my therapy practice, I use a combination of acceptance theories and cognitive restructuring to help clients rebuild a balanced sense of self. Many people confuse acceptance with mere acknowledgment. But understanding something intellectually is not the same as truly accepting it. In therapy, the goal is to help you accept your situation without blaming yourself or feeling like a victim—and to approach it with a calm, or even positive, mindset.

Facing change needs courage and hard work It also takes time, support, and a willingness to let go of what no longer fits in our lives. So often, people get stuck because they're afraid to step into the unknown or feel too attached to the past to move forward. If you're feeling like that right now, please know you’re not alone—and therapy may be a helpful step toward clarity and peace.

Live life with curiosity—that’s my personal motto for navigating change.

If any of this resonates with you, therapy might be a helpful next step. You’re welcome to reach out for a free consultation.

Email carmen.tse@amuiventure.co.uk or call 07412 535 830.